Cafe Solitude….


For the longest time I was totally adamantly against the idea of going out alone to spend an evening by myself. I just found it so morose.ย  It always made me feel like I would start feeling even more lonely and sorry for myself.

Its not that I don’t do things alone. I do. And I quite enjoy myself too. Like shopping alone, brisk walking up-n-down Bandstand, browsing a bookstore alone – taking my own sweet time, walking down a busy market street at my own pace, with headphones and my favourite music to keep me company and window shopping with the occasional halt for a mug of fresh juice. Or some street shopping for kolhapuris, rubber chappals, tee-shirts to sleep in, etc….. Actually, most of the time I prefer being a loner and doing things exactly how i want to.

But the one time that I can’t bear to be alone is when I have to have a meal all by myself.

I hate eating alone in a public place. And I hate being watched while I do it.

And it is a stupid thing, because in a city like Mumbai, one finds so many people who are doing the exact same thing. But I still feel so conscious and exposed. Like everyone is watching me and thinking, “oh poor thing, she doesn’t have any friends”. But I do have friends and they do happen to like me a lot and I don’t know why I have this strong urge to make that clear to anybody who is staring at me and thinking that.

It might sound like I am so insecure about my friends. But that’s not it, I guess that I’m just not ok with people making their own impression without really knowing the background.

The background. Ah well, the background is that now I am in between jobs and so I have a lot of time to kill while I look for one. So when I’m sick of being holed up in the house all day, I step out in the evening.

So well, today I stepped out with a book in hand thinking where could I go and read it in peace without getting too conscious of people watching me. Well, there isn’t much choice when its 7 pm in the evening and the sun has set for the day. The obvious option is a coffee shop.

So I walked down from home and came across one. I peeked to asses how crowded it was and to my relief it was quite empty. So I walked in and found the farthest and corner most seat in the place. Promptly placed an order for a large ‘iced cappuccino’ so that there was no more getting up and moving about and finally settled in my corner satisfied.

I spent a good hour and a half there. Reading a book of short stories. Bits of stray conversation falling on my ears. And what do you know, I had a good time. It was so normal. People came and left, some sat around. I don’t think anyone really cared I was there. And if anyone did, I was too engrossed in my book to notice. I finally got up because my book had come to an end ๐Ÿ™‚

When I walked out, I felt so light and happy. I told myself I was so ridiculous for having those silly issues of not being in a coffee shop or restaurant alone. It has a charm of its own. And I’m so looking forward to doing it some more. Starting a new book in the excitement. ๐Ÿ™‚

Maybe I’ll take a friend’s strongly recommended suggestion of catching a movie by myselfย  too. Plus I get to have the popcorn all to myself . Caramel it is then ! ๐Ÿ™‚ Couldn’t get better than that.

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10 thoughts on “Cafe Solitude….

  1. Rishi says:

    Hey, Good to see dat u r having fun ALL ALONE ๐Ÿ™‚ Trust me, its fun..you just have to try it more often and you will start liking it more!! I know it VERY well ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

    • binny says:

      thanks rishi!!! i know u do….taking the movie cue from u!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      • Satyajit says:

        hey…..i hve been wtchin movies alone since my college days coz i watch all d movies even if dey r big flops….recently watched “Pyaar Impossible” wid just anthr couple in d entire theatre….it was really funny…but later i realised dat unknowingly am encroaching smebdy’s privacy…so i lft d theater…:)

        Binny d ultimate experience wld be to go to a park or going for paddle boating alone…..:)

        Like

      • binny says:

        hey satya,
        well the thing is, ever since i decided to watch a movie alone, there hasn’t been one worth watching!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ but i wont give up. paddle boating seems interesting. i’ve gone for a stroll in a park plenty tho ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

  2. Leena says:

    I have so many friends who have felt the same…that they can’t go out for a meal alone. But it is so much fun. I have had to do it a bunch of times, when I have traveled for work, etc.
    In fact watching a movie on your own is even more fun becoz there are no annoying comments, you can put your feet up and really WATCH the movie! Yes and not sharing the popcorn is a big advantage!! I LOVE watching movies alone and I do it ALL the time!
    So proud of you for venturing out there! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • binny says:

      Yes, I’ve been on those occasional alone trips for work too….but that’s more out of compulsion than choice. And seeing that it can be so much fun, I think I’m gonna try this out sooner than I thought ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  3. bunny says:

    Great to see so many smileys in your post… Keep rocking and keep smiling…. Remember theres always a better tomorrow, THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  4. Aj says:

    good ! now i will add a little fuel to fire – travel alone ! it my ultimate challenge for you !

    Like

    • binny says:

      hehehehe….i have traveled alone a lot. Thats not the issue. only the eating alone is the issue ๐Ÿ˜› !!! or was the issue. i think i can do it now ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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